Terry Cree

Terry Cree writes poetry and experimental fiction. His work has been published in various magazines, webzines and anthologies. His collection, Fruit, is published by Two Rivers Press.

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The Consolation of Walls  by  Terry Cree 

I hope he found some consolation in walls. I almost think he did. (Dickens, Bleak House)

There is a wall inside me against which

I have been kicking a small rubber ball

                                                    for years.

Sometimes it rolls back flat along the ground.

Sometimes it bounces back like feelings plotted

                                                              on a graph,

That old oscillation of up and down.

I can’t decide if it’s the motive force

                                                  of ball

bouncing against wall I feel in feeling

or whether it’s the stoical resistance

                                                   of that

stonewall part of me that never submits.

And which is better, moving ball or wall?

                                                        For now,

like Mr Jellyby, I’ll settle for

the cool consolation of a wall against

                                                 my brow.

The ball can rest inside me like a stone,

as hard and rubbery as death, unkicked,

                                                     unthrown.

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